Pregnant Woman Banning Sister-in-Law's Baby Sleeping in New Cot Backed - Newsweek

A pregnant woman has revealed how she refused to let her sister-in-law's baby nap in the brand-new crib she and her husband purchased for their unborn child.

In a post upvoted over 12,000 times on Reddit, the expectant mom, writing under the handle Rare_Subject_5950 said that her hardline stance on the matter has created a major rift in the family.

While her husband's side of the family was left seething by her actions, many of those commenting on social media felt she was within her rights to say no.

It's crucial for women to be mindful not only of their physical health during pregnancy but also of their mental health. That means creating an environment where stress and anxiety are reduced as much as possible.

A pregnant woman by a child's crib.
This file photo shows a pregnant woman standing next to a child's crib. An expectant mom's steadfast refusal to let her sister-in-law use her baby things has created tension at home. LSOphoto/Getty

The importance of this was highlighted in research published by the American Psychological Association in September, which found that women who experience anxiety around their pregnancies give birth earlier on average than those who don't.

"Anxiety about a current pregnancy is a potent psychosocial state that may affect birth outcomes," lead study author Christine Dunkel Schetter, Ph.D., of the University of California Los Angeles explained.

"These days, depressive symptoms are assessed in many clinic settings around the world to prevent complications of postpartum depression for mothers and children. This and other studies suggest that we should also be assessing anxiety in pregnant women."

Concern over the well-being of the expectant mom goes some way to explaining the reaction to this latest viral Reddit post.

According to the pregnant woman, their first baby is due to arrive "any moment now" and they are fully stocked up with all the necessary baby items.

A few days ago, her sister-in-law visited with her two-month-old daughter. Everything was fine until she "got tired and had to take a nap." That was when her sister-in-law asked if they could use the crib they had bought for the unborn baby.

The expectant mom told her the answer was no. "I don't feel comfortable with another child using my newborn's stuff," she said. "I can't explain why. It's just how I feel."

According to the post, things "got awkward" soon after and they quickly left. The drama has continued on, with the husband's mom calling him up to slam her for being "selfish and spoiled."

Despite the backlash, the expectant mom was unrepentant, writing: "I am right for wanting my baby to be the first to sleep in its own bed."

It was a stance plenty on social media sympathized with.

KittKatt7179 said: "It is completely understandable. You are a first time mom. You are going to want to experience a lot of firsts. First time sleeping in his/ her bed is one of them."

Momospadess was of a similar mindset. "No one here knows your past or how hard it may have been to acquire baby items or to even get pregnant in the first place, and your feelings about it matter," they wrote.

Some, however, felt her response was the wrong one.

Maru3792648 felt she had been "selfish" for "caring so much about something material to the point of inconveniencing another newborn baby."

Valid Concerns

While some online appeared critical of the expectant mom, parenting specialist Fi Star-Stone, who runs the website The Regular Parent, felt her concerns came from a valid place.

Star-Stone told Newsweek: "Becoming a parent for the first time is hugely exciting, but it's also a time filled with apprehension and anxiety. These anxieties can often make parents-to-be super sensitive to situations and protective over their yet-to-be-born's nursery, clothes and even toys!

"While a request to borrow a crib may seem like common sense to the new mum asking for her tired little one to nap in, for the mum-to-be it can feel like an intrusion or even a superstitious worry that their clean, unused, 'just for their baby' crib is being used ahead of baby's arrival."

Star-Stone felt that while safety concerns may have played a part in the decision, the expectant mom would have little to fear from another child using the crib.

"From a 'safe-sleep' perspective, it's always advisable to have a new mattress for each new baby when creating a sleep space for your little one," she said.

"However, a one-off nap from a two-month-old isn't going to cause any damage or wear to the mattress, and as long as the mattress is completely covered by a waterproof mattress cover and the sheets are washed thoroughly afterward, it'll be no cause for concern."

Update 10/27/22, 9:14 a.m. ET: This article was updated with a new photo.

If you have a similar family dilemma, send an email to life@newsweek.com with your first name and general location. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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