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Single Woman Shares The Most Frustrating Thing Her 'Taken Friends' Do
Despite positive discourse and empowering stories about singlehood, it can still be a touchy topic, especially with the resurgence of so many traditionalist values, patriarchal standards, and impossibly high expectations for women in relationships.
Everyone has their own struggles — whether you're in a committed relationship or not — but the envy of singlehood has completely transformed in a way that's become "demeaning" for many single people today. Meg Smart on TikTok explained, "I'm not interested in dating at the moment ... but what's so frustrating is that everyone wants to move my life along faster than I do."
Not only are single people feeling the pressure to share their intimate dating lives and experiences with their friends in committed relationships as entertainment, but they're also feeling a harmful sense of jealousy over the freedom, happiness, and empowerment afforded by their relationship status.
When it comes to being the single girl in her group of friends, Smart feels a little lonely — and a lot exploited. "It's horrible that I feel like I can't talk to anyone or mention a man's name in a conversation without them assuming that we're talking, dating, or that I like them," she tearfully shared.
"You can see it on their face … you can hear it in their voice. I'm not your entertainment."
Commenters empathized with Smart's experience, admitting they have family members and friends who make their dating lives "the most important part" of any conversation — prioritizing their search for a partner over their own personal lives or well-being.
Of course, she's not the only person who feels like this as a woman in her late 20s; her video has only started the conversation.
Fellow single girl on TikTok, Shanvan, continued the conversation in a stitched video of Smart's monologue. "The main thing I want to highlight … is that we are not your entertainment," she lamented.
Not only do Shanvan's 'taken friends' push her to pursue men when they're in public, but they inherently assume she's always 'chasing a man.'Feeling seen by Smart's post, Shanvan continued, "They ask me if I've been on any dates lately; if I have any horror stories. 'Can I swipe through your Hinge?'... and call me overdramatic; call me sensitive, whatever. But I'm not your court jester. I'm not here to provide you cuffed-up people with entertainment."
Her hot take on the overarching issue: jealousy and envy. Shanvan suggested that her friends' relationships aren't providing healthy, quality alone time or fulfillment in the same way her singlehood is.
Even for women who are engaged in "the chase" or are actively looking for a partner, it should never be the "most interesting" thing about them.
Photo: PR Image Factory / Canva Pro
It's not just the act of asking these questions or demanding a blow-by-blow of life as a single person that's bothersome. It's the intention that some friends set behind it. Relationship status becomes the focal point of every conversation and interaction.
Not only does the discourse feel superficial, but these single women argue that it's 'demeaning.'It's become an unspoken rule that singlehood is not a choice and that people are desperate, lonely, or sad when they're single instead of empowered and joyful. Since singlehood is considered societally inferior to committed relationships, this unspoken rule slowly integrates itself into your relationships with others — whether it be parents, friends, or people in your community.
So, instead of starting a conversation with your friend by asking about their dating life, ask them something about themselves. Cultivate a space where they can be empowered in their identity, growth, and happiness rather than their dating life. They'll let you know when they're ready to talk about their relationship status.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.
Challenges Of Dating As A Single Mother- Joseyln Dumas
Ghanaian actress and TV host, Joselyn Dumas, recently talked openly about the challenges single mothers face when trying to get back into dating.
During a conversation on her YouTube channel, Dumas shared a story about a friend who was hesitant to date a woman with a child. He worried about taking on the role of a parent for a child who wasn't his own.
Dumas highlighted how this kind of thinking makes it hard for single mothers to find love, as they often face prejudice because of their parental status. She emphasized that despite being single moms, they still want to be happy and date like anyone else.
Dumas recounted her conversation with her friend, Anthony, who was adamant about not dating someone with a child. He argued that he didn't want to raise someone else's child and preferred to focus on his own bloodline.
This mindset, according to Dumas, contributes to why many single mothers remain single with their children. She also questioned the double standard when it comes to adoption, suggesting that raising a non-biological child shouldn't be seen differently.
Dumas stressed that single mothers don't choose to raise their kids alone because they want to be alone, but out of necessity and duty.
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Proverbs Updated For The Modern Dating World
Modern dating can be complicated, but thankfully, I'm here to offer you some classic words of wisdom, slightly adjusted to help navigate this new frontier. Feel free to embroider them onto a pillow.
Two wrongs don't make me swipe right.
Better late than ghosted.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and it's the only profile picture he'll ever use.
Don't count your lovers before you've matched.
A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will be something your parents ask about every time they call.
When the going gets tough, the tough delete Tinder for a while.
People who live in glass houses should...Ask me out because it sounds like you could support my lifestyle.
Absence makes the heart remember it has commitment issues.
Keep your friends close and your friends with benefits at emotionally safe distances.
Don't judge a book by its cover but do judge a lover by their favorite book.
It takes a village to realize you've dated everyone in the village.
Good things come to those who can't wait to uncover the entire Google history of a dating app match.
If you play with fire, you're going to get broken up with for safety reasons.
The best things in life are free because your date didn't Venmo you for the seven glasses of wine you crushed.
Beauty is in the eye of the dating app algorithm.
When in Rome, do look for a hot Italian to do.
He who laughs last did not understand my joke fast enough, so it's not going to work out.
Hope for the best but prepare for incompatible astrology signs.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't shame them for being thirsty.
Fortune favors the bold who text with the correct use of "you're."
A ship in the harbor is safe, but your ship is the reason I slid into your DMs.
All work and no play makes Jack another dull boy who still hasn't texted me back.
A profile picture is worth a thousand questions about what year it was taken.
It takes two to tango but come on, man — don't use a dance-lesson Groupon on the first date.
No man is an island, and that's disappointing.
What goes around, comes around every few months to say "U up?"
If the mountain won't come to Muhammad, Muhammad should at least agree to meet at a bar in the middle.
It is not whether you win or lose, it is how quickly you can get home after a date and put on sweatpants.
If at first you don't succeed, tweet, and tweet about it again.
Where there's a Will, there's a way Will will almost be never saved as Will in your phone.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Freeze them because this isn't looking so great.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, my therapist will be disappointed we didn't work through this already.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is single, apples can go to hell.
One man's junk is another woman's screenshot to her friends.
Lie down with dogs, wake up with a good story, at least.
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